An American, Australian and Englishman walk into a restaurant in Paris and by the time they walk out, the only thing they remember is that they will not be going back.

The setting is beautiful, and it’s conveniently located near Notre Dame along the Seine. The wait staff was efficient and professional and they offer menus in English (a big red flag, especially in a location so close to a major tourist attraction).

The tables have hidden drawers which hold the cutlery and napkins. This little discovery was the highlight of the evening.

We had some wine and tapas, starting with the chicken and cheese croquetas. They were warm and would have been excellent with a bit of flavor enhancement which the vegetable salsa on the side did not provide. The salsa resembled cooked down leftover vegetables rather than salsa.

The peppers came with dried mullet slices, raspberries, and white beans. The chef may have been trying to create some unusual flavor combination, but this try did not succeed as it still ended up bland with the exception of the dried mullet slices which added nothing to the dish other than a bit of contrasting texture.

 The zucchini salad looked fresh and was, but again the crime of blandness applied.

The best thing we tasted was the octopus, which was tender and came with a marvelous side of grilled pineapple, but when a side fruit accompaniment is the highlight of the food, that is a sad statement.

My fellow diners wanted more food (I declined after enough bland plates in one night), so they got the Cote de Boeuf. Yes that is as small of a plate as it looks, and the grand total of the small bland plates paired with two modest bottles of Spanish wine came to 54€ each for three people, which equals about $70 US for 1.33 plates of tapas and 2.5 glasses of wine. They offer menus for 51€ which feature paella and several small plates, so you could gamble on a full meal here, but I am not a gambler.

I have no desire to remember this place*, so it will be filed away as a meal to be forgotten. Apparently the chef here changed recently, so all the previous stellar reviews of this place were for the last menu/chef.

*Because of the recent fine of a blogger for a bad review in France, I am omitting the name of this restaurant.